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Building Annoying
Websites
If you do not have any design experience,
you are probably already qualified to build a very annoying
website. And the temptation of flashing banners and cartoons that
dash across the page will no doubt be too much to resist. So
here are some tips for building the most annoying website
possible.
Background: Make sure you
have a very busy background, maybe polka dots or clashing colors.
If you are really good, you will use a flashing image, such as
stars or lightning. That will make reading the text almost
impossible and the visitors will really have to work hard to
figure out what is on your page.
Colors: Use colors that
are so close that you almost loose the text in the page. If you
want the visitor to get angry, let them see a hint of text but
not enough to read it.
Animations: Use loads of
bouncing, jumping and popping animations. Let them blend together
and take all the attention away from any content you may have on
the page.
Main Menu - Don't use one.
Keep the visitors guessing and make them work hard to buy your
products. Hell, if they want your stuff, they should work for it.
A consistent page menu make navigating the website easy. If you
want to be annoying, change the menu on every page so there is no
way to get where you want without surfing several pages.
Here is an example of an what an annoying
page might feature:
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Hello Welcome To My Website!
How do you like my fancy stuff?
Can
you read this? I hope you can't because I don't want you to buy my
products, just enjoy my annoying web page. I worked hard on this and
made it as flashy as professionally possible.
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Notice the good use of animation to obscure
the text. If we were really selling something here, we surely
would loose the sale. Loosing customers quickly is the sure sign
of a well built annoying website.
Another great feature is the title! Hello
Welcome To My Website! That is probably the most
obnoxious statement you can post on the main page. We know you
are happy about having your first website, but the visitor has
likely seen more than one. They don't need to be reminded they
are looking at a website. Chances are, they already know.
You will also notice there are no links. At
least I don't think there are any links in there. So the page has
no place to go. You get there, strain your eyes and then need to
leave, because there is nothing more to see. Good example of not
having a main menu.
Although it is not the most annoying page
you can build, it is a great sample for those that strive to
build the most annoying website online.
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