Building Annoying Websites

If you do not have any design experience, you are probably already qualified to build a very annoying website. And the temptation of flashing banners and cartoons that dash across the page will no doubt be too much to resist. So here are some tips for building the most annoying website possible.

Background: Make sure you have a very busy background, maybe polka dots or clashing colors. If you are really good, you will use a flashing image, such as stars or lightning. That will make reading the text almost impossible and the visitors will really have to work hard to figure out what is on your page.

Colors: Use colors that are so close that you almost loose the text in the page. If you want the visitor to get angry, let them see a hint of text but not enough to read it.

Animations: Use loads of bouncing, jumping and popping animations. Let them blend together and take all the attention away from any content you may have on the page.

Main Menu - Don't use one. Keep the visitors guessing and make them work hard to buy your products. Hell, if they want your stuff, they should work for it. A consistent page menu make navigating the website easy. If you want to be annoying, change the menu on every page so there is no way to get where you want without surfing several pages.

Here is an example of an what an annoying page might feature:

Hello Welcome To My Website!

How do you like my fancy stuff?

Can you read this? I hope you can't because I don't want you to buy my products, just enjoy my annoying web page. I worked hard on this and made it as flashy as professionally possible.

Notice the good use of animation to obscure the text. If we were really selling something here, we surely would loose the sale. Loosing customers quickly is the sure sign of a well built annoying website.

Another great feature is the title! Hello Welcome To My Website! That is probably the most obnoxious statement you can post on the main page. We know you are happy about having your first website, but the visitor has likely seen more than one. They don't need to be reminded they are looking at a website. Chances are, they already know.

You will also notice there are no links. At least I don't think there are any links in there. So the page has no place to go. You get there, strain your eyes and then need to leave, because there is nothing more to see. Good example of not having a main menu.

Although it is not the most annoying page you can build, it is a great sample for those that strive to build the most annoying website online.

 

 

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